The easiest role to play

"If it's never our fault, then we can't
take responsibility for it.
If we can't take responsibility for it,
we will always be it's victim."
~Richard Bach

Whether we realize it or not, we often decide to play the role of the victim whenever we encounter a problem.  Why not?  It’s the easiest role to play.  As the victim, we absolve ourselves from any responsibility or accountability, and we vilify someone else, the persecutor, as the bad guy, responsible for our problems.

In her book Fearless Leadership, Loretta Malandro shares her Victim Triangle.  Here’s what it looks like:

You can see that the victim enlists what Malandro calls “co-consipirators” who buy into the victim’s agenda, and help the victim engage in pinning the blame on the persecutor – the outside party who is apparently responsible.  You can see that the necessity of the triangle is to establish that the victim did no wrong, and to make it clear that the victim, in their present stance, is absolutely right.

Victim behaviors usually include spreading rumors and gossip, talking behind others’ backs, inferring malicious attempt (by the persecutor), and verbally attacking or piling on.

While it’s so easy to play the victim, let’s work this week to make a conscious effort to start taking responsibility for the things that we encounter on a daily basis, and hold ourselves accountable.  After all, you can only put yourself in a position to overcome adversity when you put yourself in the driver’s seat.

Best wishes,

-Victor