Fraud, change, and what lies within

Yesterday we got a call from our credit card company’s fraud department, because there was suspicious activity on our card.  It turned out that yes, there was some fraudulent activity – actually to the point where someone had snatched our card information from somewhere and physically made a card that was being swiped at retailers.

The feeling you get when you think about someone pretending to be you, especially when they are doing it for illegal purposes, is a sense of frustration because you feel that someone is infringing on your personal rights – your right to be who you want to be.

So many times when we encounter difficulties in our relationships with other people, we are so quick to look at the people that we struggle with, relationship-wise, and openly ask the question, “Why can’t they just change?”

We can’t force other people to change.  To expect other people to change at our request is a selfish one, and completely self serving.  It also infringes on other people’s personal rights – their right to be who they want to be.  It makes people feel frustrated and defensive.  After all, if roles were reversed, would we like someone to ask us to change who we are?

If we want to see a change in others, then we have to look at ourselves first.  I want to you understand that I am not shifting blame from one person to another – I am simply stating that one of the most effective ways to enable a change in how people interact with us is by looking internally at how we feel about ourselves, and then modify analyzing how we deal with other people.  In other words, are people more likely to work cooperatively with us if we punch them in the stomach or if we smile at them?

“You must be the change you want to see in the world.” ~Mahatma Ghandi

Sometimes our actions toward others, without even realizing it, may be interpreted as defensive or aggressive, and that can have an effect on how others act toward us.  Next time, try focusing on the thought of forging a personal connection with a person, and see if a change is noted.

What lies within us is the powerful ability to affect how other people treat us.  If we want change, we have to look no further than ourselves!  We have the power!

Have a great day everyone!

-Victor