Check your attitude at the door

“Whenever you're in conflict with someone, there is one factor that can make the difference between damaging your relationship and deepening it. That factor is attitude.” -William James

When you encounter a problem, do you play the "victim," where you feel others create problems for you?  Or do you have an "owner" mentality, where you acknowledge that you alone are responsible for identifying and solving your own problems?

Many times, when we feel uncomfortable, we say things such as "This wouldn't have happened if they wouldn't have..." or "If they would only..."  Those statements are the statements of a victim.  An "owner" says things such as "I feel (insert feeling, such as "inadequate," "jealous," etc.).  What can I do to fix this problem, so I don't feel this way anymore?"

Having an ownership attitude helps us get to the bottom of the issues we are confronted with.  Often times, conflicts arise because we view others as the source of our problems, and therefore we expect others to solve our problems.  Most of the time, the way we expect others to solve our problems is to change in a way that suits us.  We can't change others.  We can only change the way we interact with others.  If we stop blaming others and look within, we'll quickly  assume ownership of our own problems and set goals to accomplish to fix those problems.  In doing so, we empower ourselves.  We then are in control of our own lives.

With the right attitude, life seems a lot easier to deal with!

Best wishes,

Victor