How sweet revenge is...

Did you know that the enjoyment a person experiences in getting revenge stimulates the same areas of the brain that give you pleasure when you eat chocolate?  It's true.  According to an article by the Gallup Management Journal (GMJ), research suggests it.

Given how our brains are wired to actually derive pleasure from "sticking it" to other people, it's easy to see why interpersonal conflicts are so prevalent in society.

When we approach a potentially conflicting situation, it's easy to find ourselves in a defensive mode.  A defensive strategy almost always inflames the situation, where hurtful things are said or done, and then we get into the "revenge" mode to atone for the injustices that we had endured.

When you find yourself in a potentially conflicting situation, I always recommend giving the other person the benefit of the doubt, and assume they mean no harm.  I suggest extending a hand, and showing you wish to collaborate with them to help find a solution to the current situation.  By doing this you will show to the other parties involved that not only do you respect them, but that you value their strengths and what they contribute to the workplace (or to your personal relationship).  In collaborating, you will start to work toward something that will be beneficial for everyone involved.

Basically, you will be thinking with a "win win" mentality.  Steven Covey's fourth habit in the book The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People is "Think Win-Win."  Covey states, "Win-win sees life as a cooperative arena, not a competitive one. Win-win is a frame of mind and heart that constantly seeks mutual benefit in all human interactions. Win-win means agreements or solutions are mutually beneficial and satisfying. We both get to eat the pie, and it tastes pretty darn good!"

The only question is -- does the pie you get to eat when you collaborate taste better than chocolate?  Why not think win-win?  Why not eat...a chocolate pie?

Best wishes,

Victor