Control, Jeff Foxworthy, and a bully or two

I had mentioned last week that I am in the middle of putting together a seminar on bullying in the workplace.  This topic has been so fascinating to me, in that some of the problems we deal with in the workplace started long ago when we were almost too small to talk.

One of the resources I have been referring to, and it's a great text on workplace bullying, is the book, Bully at Work, by Gary and Ruth Namie.

These two authors are experts on workplace bullying, and they have a website dedicated to the subject.

One thing stands clear -- bullies will go through great lengths to secure one thing: CONTROL

They will do almost anything to get it, while taking it away from others.  The question is: are you being bullied?

Doing my best to emulate Jeff Foxworthy’s popular “You may be a ‘redneck’ if…,”

“You might be a Target of a bully if…”

• You feel like throwing up the night before the start of your work week
• Your frustrated family demands that you stop obsessing about work at home
• You feel too ashamed of being controlled by another person at work to tell your spouse or partner
• All your paid time off is used for “mental health breaks” from the misery
• Days off are spent exhausted and lifeless, your desire to do anything gone
• Your favorite activities and fun with family are no longer appealing
• You begin to believe that you provoked the work-place cruelty
• You attempt the obviously impossible task of doing a new job without training or time to learn new skills, but that work is never good enough for the boss
• Surprise meetings are called by your boss with no results other than further humiliation
•  Everything your tormentor does to you is arbitrary and capricious, working with a personal agenda that undermines the employer’s legitimate business interests
• Others at work have been told to stop working, talking, or socializing with you
• You constantly feel agitated and anxious, experiencing a sense of doom, waiting for bad things to happen
• No matter what you do, you are never left alone to do your job without interference
• People feel justified screaming or yelling at you in front of others, but you are punished if you scream back
• HR tells you that your harassment isn’t illegal, that you have to ‘work it out between yourselves'

Many people live in denial, thinking that they are the cause of the problems they are experiencing at the workplace.  One of the biggest mistakes people make is not naming it for what it is, and dismissing it as something they did or figuring that's just the way a competitive workplace is.  If you feel you can relate to several points on the list, then you probably need to do something about it.

Schoolyard bullies grow up to be adult bullies.  It's our job to make sure it stops and doesn't interfere with our rights to have a bully-free workplace, where we can reach our highest potential.  If you feel you need help, you are more than welcome to come to my seminar, and learn what you can do.

Take care, and best wishes!

-Victor