Stepping off the escalator

Be mindful of your escalating emotions!
Photo courtesy of: http://www.flickr.com/photos/lrargerich/

Some time ago, when I was teaching a college course, I was administering an exam.  The course's assignments and exams were computer based in this particular class.

That specific day, I had a student who arrived late.  As a matter of fact, by the time he reported to class, only one other student remained in the testing room.  I waited for him to indicate he was ready to start the exam, as he worked at the computer for a few minutes.  By the time he raised his hand to garner my attention, he was the only student left in the classroom.

When I went to his side at the computer, he reported to me that his access to the course and the exam was suspended, and he was wondering why.  Because it was still early in the term, I didn't know my students' names very well, so I had to refer to my records to see what the problem was.

After checking into the issue, I informed the student that the reason he was suspended was because he had not completed any course assignments up to this point in the semester.  We had already finished three weeks of course work. In fact, he had only completed one task, which was taking a previous exam.

Hearing my explanation for the lockout, he replied, saying, "I didn't know we had any assignments."  This completely floored me.  This student had been attending class every class period, and I knew for certain that I had mentioned the word "assignment" roughly five to ten times per class period.

"How could this student not possibly know he had assignments to complete?" I thought to myself.  I was just flabbergasted.   The only words I could utter in my disbelief were, "Are you serious?"  He nodded yes, and then I repeated with another "Are you serious?," this time with a much more stern tone to my voice.

I could feel my emotions escalating, as the feelings of disbelief started to convert into anger.  I could tell my face was starting to contort into half scowl, half smirk.  My emotions were starting to get the best of me.  To be honest, I was feeling ready to just lay into this student -- ready to berate him and belittle him and just tear him down.

It was then that I realized that if I didn't gain control of my escalating emotions, I would regret saying and/or doing some hurtful things.  I took a few deep breaths, closed my eyes, and asked the student if we could take a look at the website where the assignments were posted, so I could show him where the assignments were.

I proceeded to tell him that I was very impressed he did as well as he did on his first exam, given the fact that he didn't do the assignments, which would have really helped him prepare for the exam.  I told him that he could leave and come back after he had looked at the materials to help prepare for this particular exam if he wished.  He still wanted to take his exam, and he did, but I made it a point of emphasis to adapt a positive and encouraging tone when I was speaking with him about his progress in the class.

I did notice that after I switched to a positive form of conversation, I felt more relaxed, in control, and ready to help him succeed in the class.  I knew, after he had left after taking the exam, that I had done the right thing.

Sometimes our emotions can take escalate into hurtful words and actions.  By being mindful of your emotions, you can step down from the escalator ride, and embody a much more positive (and productive) attitude that will yield great things.

Best wishes,

-Victor